Thursday, November 20, 2008

Mini Van Mother Drivers

Mini van mother drivers is kinda like a cuss word (OK phrase if you want to get technical) for me. It started when I was in high school. As juniors and seniors we were allowed to drive off campus for lunch. One particular time when my friends and I went to the mall for lunch and were headed back to school a little late as usual if I remember right (my memories of high school are random & I most of the time I have to consult my friend Jennie to make sure I get the details right). Anyway a mini van all of sudden decided that it didn't want to be in the turn lane and came over into my lane, pretty much on top of me. I know she didn't see me. So I honked and she went back over in the lane and then got behind me. Well it was a bit scary b/c she could have hit us and almost did. So my friend Jennie took it upon herself to avenge me. She then proceeded to turn around from the passenger seat and flip this mini van driver off with both hands and made faces too (I think but I'm pretty sure she did). Well mini van mother driver did not take kindly to that and tailed us all the way back to school. Where she proceeded to turn in my licence plate number and get me detention (there is actually a whole lot more to this story and it's pretty damn funny but that's for a different time). She complained about me giving the bird (I tattled & told the vice principal it was Jennie) and that her kids were in the car blah blah blah! So in our retelling of the story she became known as the mini van mother driver or flipper (again another time).
So with contempt I have been hurling this insult at bad driving mini vans for years!!! And I gotta say mothers in general are somewhat bad drivers. And now I am one (damn when did that happen!!) a mother, a mini van owner, and occasional bad driver!!! But I now understand that stupid min van woman from high school but I would never tail a car full of high school kids and then report them for being kids when I had made the mistake (but I am cool so there you go ... but using the term cool just made me so very old & really not cool at all).

So here is my conclusion: kids make you drive badly!!!!!

Yes it is all their fault. They keep us up all night and make us tired and driving tired is just as bad a driving drunk or so they say. They also scream and cry while we are driving... and that is really distracting (almost as bad a texting and driving ha!). Then there is always the "Mommy I'm gonna throw up!" or "feel bad" followed by vomit and then the swerving of the mini van as we try to catch the vomit in our hands. And then there is just the mindless kid chatter or kids music you have listen to (which puts me into a stupor and about half way home realize I have just driven almost home with no conscious thought). So while I now understand the mini van mother driver because I will admit to being one, I have to wonder now if I will ever be a normal driver ever again so that I can then hurl the mini van mother driver insult again?????

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