No Vampires Here

Well almost a week after I predicted my daughter's first tooth would appear it finally did. And not only was I wrong about when it would come but also which one would pop out first. Unlike my prediction of the canine being first, her bottom incisor popped out first. So she in fact not a vampire but a normal baby girl. Kinda disappointing ... I was so looking forward to raising a little vampire. But at least I can say she finally has teeth ... OK, OKAY a tooth one single solitary little tooth at 11 months old!!!

Am I going to hell???

So I have never been a religious person. My parents never went to church and so the only time I ever went was when my Nana took me to our family church in Colorado. So I didn't go that often. I always liked going and I believed in god when I was little and I even said the lords prayer every night. But since my dad is an atheist and my mom was just not a church goer while I was growing up I just didn't go often. As I grew up I learned things about religion from friends and occasionally going to different churches with friends. The first incident that started me down my agnostic path happened when I was about 10 years old. My uncle was coming to visit us and he was bringing his partner. So my mom had to tell me that he was gay in order to explain why he was bringing Keith and that they were going to be living together with us (they were moving to NC and stayed with us until they found a place to live). So at first I was shocked to hear that my beloved uncle was gay. I had no clue but I was only 10. So I knew that being gay was considered a bad thing and wrong. So I didn't know what to make of it. My mom just told me that he's the same guy I had always known and this didn't make him any different. Much to my shame I was still uncertain but as soon as he came in the door it was my same old uncle and everything was fine. So then I had to deal with why would god say he was bad just because he was gay when he was such a great person. So the seed was planted. In high school I had a friend who was involved in her youth group at her church and she got me involved. I actively went for about 6 months. I had a nice time going and liked it but one day as we were in the sanctuary we were on our knees praying and the leader during his prayer asked god to forgive us for our sins committed that day. That was my breaking point. I felt like I had nothing that I needed to be forgiven for and also I just was not sure some things considered sins were really sins to me. Really was god going to send me to hell for cussing??? So this is when I really started to question religion and mostly Christianity. In the years since I have come to believe there is a higher power but it's not the God almighty according to Christianity or really any of the major religions. I do not consider my self a Christan. This makes me a HUGE minority in this country. I have become much more aware of it in this very charged political atmosphere. I respect every one's right to religion but I believe in the separation of church and state. I also believe that just because I am not a Christian does not mean I have no morals or that I can not teach my children morals. I know what is right and wrong and how human beings should treat each other. I try to do this everyday and pass the same onto my children. Anyway I was just saying today to my husband that one of the fundamental differences I have noticed between the Democrats and Republicans in the recent years is the use of god and/or religion. I think the Democrats for the most part are also Christians but we/they tend to keep it separate from politics. I just get tired of feeling like I am a bad person because of my beliefs. If you think I am going to hell then fine. That's what you believe. But don't condemn me to my face or get nasty with me. I don't shove my beliefs in your face and so I ask that you don't shove yours in mine.

Confessions of the Day 4

After my workout (a really good mommy stroller workout check it out here ) this morning at the mall (because it was too cold for the babies to be outside) I stopped at the Starbucks and got a Caramel Macchiato. Now that's not so bad you say if you got a tall with skim milk with sugar free syrup. And yes that wouldn't be too bad. But no I got the Venti with 2% (better than whole I suppose) and no sugar free anywhere in sight. So there I blew all the calories I lost during the workout.

I managed to let my 10 month old daughter eat dog food. Yes dog food. Now that she is crawling she gets into everything and it all goes in her mouth. I know typical behavior. But she was in the living room and the dog food is in the dining room a full 4 feet up a small stair case. But my sloppy dog and/or son spilled a few pieces on the living room floor (through the railing). I was so engrossed in yelling at Elizabeth Hasslebeck on the View that I didn't notice that she had crawled over and eaten the dog food. In fact I had no idea she was eating anything until a few minutes later when I found a few crumbs on her chin. I have no idea if she ate one piece or five pieces (no way there was more than that .. she didn't have that much time) but I didn't do anything about it. Had she been my first child we would have been at the doctor's office in about 2 seconds.

Once again I didn't have all the ingredients in the house to cook one of the dinners on my list and it was too late to thaw out anything for the grill. So we ordered pizza. The deal we got only had one topping on the pizza and since my son won't eat peperoni, I decided we at least needed a veggie. So we had mushroom pizza. At least it was a veggie right??? And we made him drink milk! That always helps!

Careers are for crybabies

Right now my career is non-existent to say the least. Unless of course you count driving screaming kids, changing diapers, playing board games until you are bored stiff (ha ha), making Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, and house work a career. I guess from some it is a 30 year career. I on the other hand will have to be forced back to the work force at some point. It may be sooner rather than later thanks to this lovely Bush economy. And the thought of having to return to the real world work force scares the crap out of me. I gotta say being a stay at home mom is great work if you can get it. I love my kids and being home with them has been so great (it has it's moments when I think why I am torturing myself). But I don't have to wear skirts or dress up if I don't want to. If I don't put make up on it's not a big deal. I am still up early but hell I don't have be out of my house having intelligent conversations with people I just have to talk about Star Wars and what's for lunch. So here's my ponderings as of late. Do I go back to teaching or do I find something else to do??? I taught special education for about 3 years before I had my son and quit all together. I also have a masters in special ed. but I let my teaching certificate run out last year. I have NO motivation to take classes to get my certificate back. Plus I just can't imagine going back to teaching right now. I just don't have the love I once had and well to be a special ed. teacher I think you NEED to have that love for it, for yourself and for the kids you teach. I have also screwed the pooch with teaching in my county because of the tattoo I got a few months ago. This lovely very conservative county is cracking down big time on teachers and appearance standards. So my wrist tattoo will have to be covered all the time which is bullshit if you ask me and frankly I don't think I should have to. So what to do now... that is the question. Can't someone just pay me to sit around playing on the Internet while taking care of my own children??? Come on anyone??? Anyone??

My daughter is a vampire

Yes my daughter is a vampire .... and just in time for Halloween too. Is she talented or what?!?! Being that she is almost 11 months old and still has NO teeth, I have been waiting patiently for some (OK one at least) to arrive. Well upon inspecting her mouth a week or so ago I discovered that finally a tooth was on it's way in but to my horror realized it's a canine tooth. Not the normal bottom incisor that babies usually get first. But the friggin canine. Leading me believe she is vampire and a rather theatrical one at that since it should appear around Halloween. Now I have to attend to putting away the cute cuddly bunny costume and go find an infant girl vampire costume. This should be interesting.....

More Butt cream already????

Ok I know this is my first girl baby. So this has to be a girl thing. But I am already out of A&D Ointment again!! I have bought at least 4 tubes already and that is not including the few I got for shower presents and a tube of Aquafor (sp?) I had on hand for my tattoo after care. I just can't believe how much butt cream she goes through!! I guess there is more skin to protect than on a boy. That is the only thing I think. My had just as much diaper rash and I used no where near this much A&D! Just weird is all I'm saying!

Confessions of the Day 3

When my son came out of his room dressed for school ... I just could not take the non matching outfit (patchwork plaid shorts and a red striped shirt). So I made him go back and change the shorts even though we had already talked about letting him pick whatever he wanted as long as he didn't put on pants. He just looked so dorky that I couldn't let him out of the house that way.

I buy discounted/clearanced items at the grocery store for presents. It's so cheap when they clearanced things off and it's good stuff but for some reason I just feel funny buying presents for people at the grocery store.

I was so excited about The New Kids on the Block being on The View that I bribed my 5 year old (with playing the Wii) to sit through it after school because that was the first shot I had to watch it.

Mommy Blogs

I read a lot of blogs. I like to read blogs and I like to blog. But here is my problem ... I can't stand the mommy blogs that tout how perfect their lives and kids and husbands are!! It's bullshit and we all know it. We all have issues about something weather it's our kids, our husbands or ourselves. And hell I have issues with all the above. It's just so annoying to read the blogs about how perfect a husband is or how wonderful their kid or kids are. And there hardly ever seems to be anything that goes wrong in their perfect world. So do they just ignore their issues and blog only good things to make themselves feel better and look better??? Or are they so delusional that they don't see the issues and they really think everything is fine??? I know my brother and sister in law think their kids are fine but in reality their oldest has problems. They are oblivious to it so I can see that it can happen. Anyway I digress. Wanna know my issues right now?? OK well my son is 5 but is going to a private Kindergarten because we are not sure he is ready for public kindergarten b/c of speech and fine motor issues. What really sucks is that it's expensive and I have to drive him everyday. My daughter is 9 months old and not crawling and not attempting to. My husband thinks I don't want to have sex with him. I do but just not as often as he wants or we want it at different times. And finally I am overweight and really need to work on it but have ZERO motivation to do so. So there you go a few real mommy issues for you.

Confessions of the Day 2

We just got back from being on vacation for a week and we had no regular milk in the house so my 5 yo son got strawberry milk for breakfast. Can we say way to much sugar before 8am???

My son got Wall-E for the Wii for his birthday and it's really to hard to play for a kid under about 6 I would say but he tries. Anyway when he get frustrated he wants me to play for him. And I have to say I think I like playing it more than he does.

When playing games today I was going through the game cabinet and cleaning it and organizing it AGAIN and found a cheap piece of crap checker set my son got from Chuck E. Cheese. We never play it b/c he can't really yet and the pieces are just everywhere so I snuck into the trash and then made sure I covered it up with other trash so he wouldn't see it and pull it back out. Why does Chuck E. Cheese have to have such cheap pieces of crap that NO ONE will ever use???

Mommy Group Blahs

I just sent a kinda bitchy email to the "leaders" of my local "moms group". I have been a member of this group since my son was a baby so almost 4 years now. Not only have I been an active member but was also the secretary for 2 years so I know how things are supposed to go and what it takes to make the group successful. But I gotta say I am less than pleased with things right now. Events are getting canceled left and right (sometimes 2 or 3 days before the event) b/c people are not rsvping. Now this is stupid b/c most of the rsvps come in the night before so canceling something 2 days out is a cop out and you just wanna cancel the event period. It just sucks for those of us who had planned on coming but just were not on top of rsvping right away. Mother's night out also somehow just got forgotten last month too. Gotta say that is just slack. Never would have happened when my friend and I were in charge of the calendar. Like I said I know what it takes to run the group and it's really not that hard. And yes things get forgotten but by 5 people all at once??? Anyway I've just had a thorn in my side about this for the last couple of weeks.